Progress.

Progress /ˈpräɡres/ noun. forward or onward movement toward a destination.

Special needs parents talk a lot about progress, myself included.

We have had a lot of progress in the last couple of months.

Brenly successfully went to the dentist. She let them clean all of her teeth, get an x-ray and let Dr. look in her mouth. This is leaps and bounds from where we started. We have learned what to do differently. We prepare her. Months in advance. We count down days. We write out all the steps of what will happen at the dentist. And then, we hope like hell that is the way it goes. The last visit couldn’t have gone better. Progress.

Brenly went to the doctor this week. She had a cold, therefore, couldn’t go to school until she had a negative COVID test. Last time this happened, the doctor just had us do a drive thru test. That did not go well. There wasn’t enough preparation. This time, the doctor had us come to the office. We talked about it and wrote out the steps. A COVID test was not included in those steps because I thought they would just write us a note and say it wasn’t COVID related. I was wrong. She had to get a swab. I thought, “Well, here we go.” I was prepared for the meltdown that I knew was coming. Except, it didn’t come. She got her swab like a champ and then asked the doc to check her reflexes with her hammer. Progress.

Today, we took the kids for haircuts. We prepared. We talked about the steps. Brenly sat through her haircut better than any time before. We had one incident. For some reason, we have trouble with slow songs. They make Brenly sad. They have for years. A song came on the radio. It was slow. She was done with her haircut but she laid on the ground and started to get upset. It was short lived. Daddy took her to the car after a minute and I stayed while Cayson got his haircut. Progress.

In the last week, Brenly has tried peaches, pears, pineapples and today, lettuce! We have struggled for a long time with food. Smells, textures, looks, colors… could be anything that makes her not want to try the food. She used to not even want some foods on her plate. Now, she will at least taste most foods. Progress.

If you remember me talking about our issues with aggression, then you know it was bad for awhile. Now, we still have some aggression. When Brenly is upset, you can see the inner battle she is having in her eyes. She knows hitting is bad. Sometimes, she can’t help it and it still happens. But sometimes, it doesn’t happen. She holds it back. It is devastating to watch that battle because I know how hard that is for her. But, progress.

Y’all, Brenly wore JEANS last week! For A. WHOLE. DAY. She wore them to school and looked adorable doing it. For 8 years, she has worn leggings or shorts. We got her a pair of jeans for Christmas just to try it again. She rocked those jeans. She also looked too grown up doing it. Progress.

The definition of progress, though, is the movement toward a destination.

I’ve been thinking a lot about that.

What is Brenly’s destination?

What exactly are we working towards for her?

Think about that for a moment? Even for your neurotypical children. What do you want for them?

Guess what?

We want the same things for Brenly.

We want her to be the best she can be.

We want her to be accepted.

To be happy.

To be healthy.

To be loved.

She is all of those things.

She is all of those things and more.

So, we will keep working on progress.

As for her destination?

Well, it will be wherever she wants it be.

No matter where that is, I’ll be there.

And I know one thing for certain.

It will be somewhere beautiful.